Memories

Download Book

Surfers Memorial

My Dearest Danny,

I remember that day in 1975 when a doctor told me that I did not have a hormone imbalance- I was pregnant! It was very much a surprise because he said the odds of me having children were quite slim (shows you how much he knew). Well a few months and 7 pounds later your father drove me to the hospital because he just thought I was making it up. He left me there to go back to the office and then go to Stewart’s for a hamburger! Of course as you all know when he came back all hell had broken loose. You were all entangled in your cord (that’s why I never felt you move) and your heart rate was dropping so you were born by c-section. I was put to sleep, thank God cause I don’t do pain well. You were taking away by the nurses for immediate medical attention.

When I woke up the doctor told me I had a girl and she was fine! Then your father came in and told me we had a son! It was late at night and I realized I had this child and I had no clue as to what it was. I did not want to appear stupid to the nurses (after all I was all of 22), so I decided to wait until morning and see what color blanket you came wrapped in. Well, you were wrapped in WHITE! I knew you were my son you looked exactly like your father. Eight days later they sent us home. Your father and I did not have a clue as to what we were doing. The first night home you slept in our room and we kept all the lights on because we felt the lights were on in the nursery and we didn’t want you to be afraid of the dark!

A few years later your sister was born and you loved her so much you brought her in for show and tell one week. Sixteen months later your brother was born and he instantly became your best friend. You always included him in all the things you did, and knowing he had no fears, you always got him to try out the crazy stunts first.

When you were about 6 you asked me if you could play baseball and tap dance. Yes I know most of you reading this did not know that at about 9 years old Danny won a national tap dancing competition in Washington D.C., dancing to “Top Hat White Tie and Tails”. That probably was one of the few times he wore a tux.

In 1984 all our lives changed we bought the beach house in Pt. Pleasant. That is when you met Michael Manzulli and the gang. Everything changed from your hairdo to your interests. It was no more dancing. It was skateborading, skimboarding and surfing. Around that time you also found your other passion hockey.

After that the years seem to whiz by broken up by summers at the beach and hockey and broken bones. Before I knew it you were leaving for Boston College. I cried so hard that day we dropped you off. I knew than my little boy was gone and in his place there was a man. You made life long friends there and of course your phish phase was in full swing by then. I remember one Christmas you gave me Phish tapes as a gift because you felt I was ready. I regret not going with you to a concert, but as a told you then I didn’t think I could handle 6 hours of anybody’s music. I did however, attend Jerry Garcias last concert at Giants Stadium that was close enough for me. Afterall your father spent 8 hundred dollars in the parking lot buying tents and t-shirts and things.

It was around then I started writing your address in my book in pencil because you moved around so much. I loved visiting all the new apartments and when you moved to Idaho I knew I had to go there to see if it was a good place for you. I truly felt it was. It was a quiet little town and I know you could snow board there in the winter. I felt that was a good spot for you for a little while.

As I sit here this morning writing this and crying I want you to know many things (really too many to write), but here are some. I still wear the earrings you gave me that Christmas 3 years ago I have never taken them off since then and I never will. I start every day and end every night thinking of you and that will never change I will miss you and love you everyday of my life. I know you are with Grandpa and Kevin building something special. Someday we will all be together and I will finally get that hug I so desperately need.

All MY Love Always, Mom XOX

Dancing at John and Dana's Wedding	Visiting Danny this summer in Sandpoint, ID

A friend to remember

Danny and I met a couple years ago when I was living in Park Slope, Brooklyn. (I currently live in Berkeley, California where you are all invited upon a minute's notice). My former roomates knew Danny and introduced us as we were both really into Phish and I had just moved to New York and was looking to meet new friends. I hit it off with Danny right away- who didn't? as he was simply the nicest and most genuine hearted person. I felt as we were driving in his car (the black passat- I think it was a passat) through Jersey on February 25, 2003 (to the Philly show) that I had met a friend for life. Later that night (post show) we were driving back to park slope and neither one of us really felt like going straight home- so we stopped at a favorite park slope spot to have a drink and talk- and I remember having the best time talking to Danny.

He was honest, and real, and listened with all his heart as we spoke into the early morning hours about what made us tick- and what made us want to get up and continue making our lives into everything we could make them. I remember Danny telling me he felt too old for Phish tour (that his friends from Boston days were all getting married)... and that the only reason he kept coming to shows - in spite of the fact that he felt like he could be outgrowing the band) was for the friends he kept making along the way- and for the ability to dance, and share, and have more fun than by doing anything else.

Sure enough Danny and I stayed friends beyond just that night. We ended up going to Limestone, Maine
-'It' festival together (along with a couple other people). I remember driving his dad's green lexus suv in the hazy weather and thinking how fortunate it was that I had met Danny and that I had such a good friend to travel on tour with.

Danny and I met Chris and Lisa (an amazing couple from Chicago- they had just gotten married) and the four of us had without a doubt one of the best times in my life. I remember dancing with the three of them and a couple other people we had met that first night- and I thought how incredible the Phish community was- that I had only met all of these people in that last year- yet it was as if i had known them forever. We danced as if we were brothers and sisters who had been playing together since the time we were born. And Danny made it all possible for me. Without him I couldn't have even made it to Maine- let alone meet these people that I will forever feel are my soul brethren. Especially Danny.

I ended up moving back to California about six months later- but I had the most fortunate pleasure to see Danny at shows here and there. Sometimes I would reach him on his cell phone so we could actually designate a place to meet up at- other times- it was with the help of the great One above that we would just run into each other and smile and laugh for only a few minutes that now remain in my mind eternity.

Danny was and IS one of my greatest memories from these last couple of phish years. I will never ever ever forget him- his loving smile, his heartfelt hugs, his most endearing friendship despite not seeing each other for months.

I truly believe that Danny must have completed his mission on this earth. I don't know what that mission was- but perhaps it has something to do with the endless number of people whose lives he has touched somewhere along the way.

There is a poem I once memorized as a little girl as it had become my favorite poem. I never knew why- until now- Danny is the essence of that poem...  a short little poem by Emily Dickinson that goes:If I can stop one heart from breaking

I shall not live in Vain,
If I can ease one life the aching
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

Danny may have only had a short life here in this world- but he had a life that I believe accomplished more than many do in three times his years. he accomplished the greatest virtues of all- humility, selfless kindness, and friendship to all.

May he remain a guiding light for all of us- shining down on us with those same open arms- reminding us to keep on dancing, keep on living, keep on giving everything we've got to make this world a better place for ourselves, each other, and our children. I can't cry right now because I don't think Danny would want it that way- so instead maybe I'll listen to the first show he and I saw together- the night we boogied down, the night we became friends and the night that will forever have changed my life. ~ Jenny Bernstein

Wow, to describe my memories of Danny or Danno or Dude can take me an eternity. He had such a diverse group of friends from all over the world.  Isn't that amazing!!  As I am pondering how to put all of my thoughts in some logical order, I can only smile and just laugh at something. 

Phish, Phish, Phish..
When they were playing in New York one year all he would talk to me about was how much fun he had going to their concerts.  They were playing in the Garden in the late 90's , seemed like yesterday.  So I surprised him and scalped tickets and rented us a limo and tried to do it Joe style.  Well, after I told him what I did, he just put his hand on his head and started to give me a lecture how I just broke every Phish rule. I don't know, I loved my Danny and know he loved Phish, so I got us front row seats figured better not to drink and drive, rented us a limo..  He was so mad at me, funny mad, as he told he that scalpers are bad for Phish concerts as the ticket prices will go up.  SO when we get to the concert Danny starts networking with his Phish buddies and it just cracks me up how I still hear him yelling what I had done was "all wrong". BUT, Danny was sure to plug into the public microphones that were right next to our seats and then seemed to let me off the hook. I still remember that funny smell in the air that I remembered a bit in College. 

 2003 Yankees/Boston Game 7
The 2003 Yankees/Boston Game 7 playoffs where things worked out right for the Yankees, Danny was the only law-abiding citizen kind of.  We were walking towards the stadium looking to throw out our empty beers as we just got off the Manhattan/Bronx ferry.  Somehow Danny either had esp or was setting up the other Danny in our group. He gave his empty to Danny a few seconds before the NYPD swooped upon our misdemeanor of carrying empty beer cans in paper bags in public, I know very classy people (at least they were Fosters). Well Danny was just making faces and laughing at us as I was busy squirming and showing my deck of pba cards to get out of harms way.  He was very prepared to leave us. But he cared to know if we were going to get arrested if he could have the other 3 tickets.  REAL NICE DANNY !!!! 

Dude
He was known as Dude for some mysterious reason around some of my more comical clients.  He evolved from Kid to Dude as he aged a bit.  Dude was someone who would calmly do his computer thing and make things work.  As some of my clients are a bit demanding, Danny had a presentation that made some narrow minded people a bit suspicious of his abilities. 

In my own commanding way I would just shut up any doubt by just saying IT'S DUDE !!, he will fix it...  and of course he did and of course anyone that doubted the book by its cover eventually let me know how wrong they were. I always tried to remind Danny that having fun was more important than work.  I pity people that define themselves by their career as opposed to the things they do and with whom they do it.   When Danny was being interviewed for the bookcrossings job he made the usual follow up call to ask me if they called.  I can just see his face as I teased him about how I told the bookcrossing people how he is a bad programmer and he calls end users dumb, made mention to getting angry about plugs being pulled out of computers.  Then I let him off the hook and told him how much it seemed he impressed I think it was Bruce and Heather.  

10 years of Danny was quite the ride
Well 10 years of Danny was quite the ride, 1^st time I met him his uncle Lou had told me several times about his nephew.  He was in his 3^rd year at Boston College, I met him at the Friday's in Old Bridge.  I don't know if I called Lou to kid him if he meant his niece, as his hair was longer than most girls.  But that would be mean, immediately after meeting him we went to Uncle Lou's office (odd coincidence) to fix a computer problem and hired him on the spot. As I got to know him I have many great memories, see above. 

How he thought of his parents
I think how he thought of his parents would be a great way to wind this down. He thought his mother was so cool with her sports cars.  It meant so much to him that his ways met with her approval.  Danny really looked up to his Dad, especially as he could fill up his car using their fleet gas pump.  He got so worked up at the computer system in the office as he accused the software vendor of extortion with all of the dongles and copy protection on it.  Danny was crystal clear that his family business was important to safeguard and I know he contributed his best to look out for his Dad.  

I last talked to Danny on Wednesday before he left us.  He was so passionate about the election.  I suppose his northeastern Boston College/New Jersey values were beginning to kick in.  It was a pleasure to hear it, as I am the same, but I know I bit my lip and told him it really doesn't matter who is president,really doesn't affect our lives.  I laughed at a few girl things with him.  Was looking forward to another funny memory for the holidays with him and our work friends. 

I used to think that people that were normal were normal. But, as I aged I realized that people that were normal were abnormal. And abnormal people were normal. John Lennon gave us that great one and I know it describes Danny Clune better than any details or memories I have shared about Dude.

It seems that many people know of Danny

in his travels.  His work touched many people and his leaving us this early will give us some perspective.  I am crystal clear that Danny knew how I felt about him, so I am great there.  But anyone who has taken the time to read this should be careful about how they live their lives as one silly mistake can have such consequences.  It is so important to get things right with our brief stay on this planet as this life we live is no dress rehearsal. Clune Family, thanks for letting me share my memories of Danny. As I told Harry, it feels good to write things out and it really helps me move forward. ~ Joe Korman

Dan on the computer

Buds

When I was about nine years old I walked down to the Ocean Ave Deli in Point Pleasant Beach like I often did summer days to buy a jello pudding pop, Swedish fish, a Reggie Jackson candy bar or some other sugar laden thing. Vinny the deli owner met me with his usual excited tone and told me about these break-dancers that were going to be dancing in front of the store that evening. Wow. I imagined city guys gyrating like robotic pretzels. I couldn’t wait for the show.

After a sun soaked day at the beach I walked down to the deli to catch the action. People of various ages had formed a small circle in front of the Deli, but there were no gold-chained baggy pants wearing guys from Brooklyn. There was a skinny three ft tall white kid with a dark brown bowl haircut with moves like Michael Jackson crossed with Webster and his tiny two ft high sidekick. My initial disappointment disappeared when their ghetto blaster started pumping out some electronic grooves and this kid, loose as a jellyfish, started spinning on pieces of cardboard from Vinny’s discarded produce boxes. I had unsuccessfully tried similar moves in the privacy of my locked bedroom. The stuff he was doing was hard. He was smooth. “Who was this kid and where did he learn how to dance like that?” I thought. After the show I walked away feeling weird. I didn’t realize kids could have the confidence to do something like that in public.

A few days, weeks, months, later, I can’t remember. My friend Marty said he had a friend I should meet. He brought him along to one of our weekly pickup wiffle ball games on the beach. It was the break-dancer. His parents had recently bought a house on the boardwalk, approximately ten houses north of the house my parents rented every summer. He was a Yankees fan. The deal was sealed, we were buds for life. The stories could fill a book, maybe one day they will. Danny, you will always be with me whenever I dance, whether it be with friends on land or alone on a wave. I love you.~ Mike Manzulli